so its come to this.

you know what i realised?
my shadow knows more about me than, really anyone.

with about 3 exceptions.

anyway.

you know those nights, when your just upset, sad, stressed, crying.
its dark, your trying to sleep. there is nothing but you, and your shadows. jsut, sometimes.. i wish i could get my shadows opinion on everything.
i mean, if you think about it, they are with you, contantly, give or take a few cloudy days.
they have been there your entire life, they know everything about you. they are with you while you fall asleep, i duno.

i wish i were peter pan, he got to see his shadow. though it could not talk, it certainly did have its very own personality. which is odd, though i guess you cant really question something like, a shadows personality, when.. well when the shadow isnt attached to you and is floating around the room, hiding in drawers and generally just being a little shit.,

basically, i wish i were in a disney movie. ill go live on freaking, never land. to never grow up. seems pretty sweet to me. so screw you Wendy. PETER IS MINE!!. though, i dont know whether i would want to be stuck in the right here right now. halfway through year 12, which is sucking btw, so many problems.. so much to think about. its not just the schoolwork, its not just the family, its everything else.
so much more to think about. i would love to go to neverland, to live happy, for the rest of my life. but i cant. and i wont. so. =/

Personally, i think wendy made the right choice. i mean, at the time, why are you gonna give up some sexy as flying boy? i mean, come on. that hat, just.. wow.
anywho. and you think, now she is gonna have to come back to her gay life, and live through all the troubles that are surely going to come. what if she never finds love? will she be forced to turn to the life of paedophillia, (??) and go to neverland with her toyboy? or will she live her life unhappy.. never knowing whether to believe her experience in neverland was real.

see.
even going to neverland seems to be stressful.



on a different topic..
my sister is moving out on sunday, tmorrow, thats right.
on easter.. now my feelings are mixed. i wont go into extreme detail, as im sure none of you care, all that much. but lets just say, she is renting somewhere, with another family.. who is, a single mum, her two daughters.. who are 16 and 19. hmm.. doesnt that sound somewhat familiar? minus my little sister, and basically she has replaced my mother, my sister and i. i am unsure how to feel about this; her departure means less fights, it was getting to a point where she had to go. now its that time.. where i dont know whether to miss her or not. i know i will, but.. i dont know. everything is confusing. especially, the.. will i ever see her again? is she just gonna cut us out? how come she jsut HAD to leave on easter, considering her birthday is the very next day.. and how come she doesnt even seem like she will miss us. or me. id ont know.

faced with this situation, it has produced some odd emotions.
some that arent very well explained, might i add =P/

thats all.