i just made the longest blog

like
so, so long.

and my internet cut out, and it didnt save. at all.

it was somethign really important too.. i was so worried about it.
apparently you werent supposed to see it.

lol

so its come to this.

you know what i realised?
my shadow knows more about me than, really anyone.

with about 3 exceptions.

anyway.

you know those nights, when your just upset, sad, stressed, crying.
its dark, your trying to sleep. there is nothing but you, and your shadows. jsut, sometimes.. i wish i could get my shadows opinion on everything.
i mean, if you think about it, they are with you, contantly, give or take a few cloudy days.
they have been there your entire life, they know everything about you. they are with you while you fall asleep, i duno.

i wish i were peter pan, he got to see his shadow. though it could not talk, it certainly did have its very own personality. which is odd, though i guess you cant really question something like, a shadows personality, when.. well when the shadow isnt attached to you and is floating around the room, hiding in drawers and generally just being a little shit.,

basically, i wish i were in a disney movie. ill go live on freaking, never land. to never grow up. seems pretty sweet to me. so screw you Wendy. PETER IS MINE!!. though, i dont know whether i would want to be stuck in the right here right now. halfway through year 12, which is sucking btw, so many problems.. so much to think about. its not just the schoolwork, its not just the family, its everything else.
so much more to think about. i would love to go to neverland, to live happy, for the rest of my life. but i cant. and i wont. so. =/

Personally, i think wendy made the right choice. i mean, at the time, why are you gonna give up some sexy as flying boy? i mean, come on. that hat, just.. wow.
anywho. and you think, now she is gonna have to come back to her gay life, and live through all the troubles that are surely going to come. what if she never finds love? will she be forced to turn to the life of paedophillia, (??) and go to neverland with her toyboy? or will she live her life unhappy.. never knowing whether to believe her experience in neverland was real.

see.
even going to neverland seems to be stressful.



on a different topic..
my sister is moving out on sunday, tmorrow, thats right.
on easter.. now my feelings are mixed. i wont go into extreme detail, as im sure none of you care, all that much. but lets just say, she is renting somewhere, with another family.. who is, a single mum, her two daughters.. who are 16 and 19. hmm.. doesnt that sound somewhat familiar? minus my little sister, and basically she has replaced my mother, my sister and i. i am unsure how to feel about this; her departure means less fights, it was getting to a point where she had to go. now its that time.. where i dont know whether to miss her or not. i know i will, but.. i dont know. everything is confusing. especially, the.. will i ever see her again? is she just gonna cut us out? how come she jsut HAD to leave on easter, considering her birthday is the very next day.. and how come she doesnt even seem like she will miss us. or me. id ont know.

faced with this situation, it has produced some odd emotions.
some that arent very well explained, might i add =P/

thats all.

so its come to this.

dance with me, right here, right now.

no, no i wont.

beacuse i have too much homework.

dude, seriously. i just wish i could like.. get on top of all my homework. i mean, i have some mass ass biology thing to do, which i have been dawdling around for AGES. but, like.. i have all this other crap form other subjects that was due, and i just dont feel like going to ANY of the lessons. i duno, i just dont want to. specially english.
sigh.
it just it so boring, like..i cant be bothered listening to ms lovell crapping on about crap.
not to mention i actually did send something to her, like.. lots, not realising her name is spelt with TWO LLs!!
FOR FUCKS SAKE.
jsut whatever. i cant even be bothered anymore. i can make it up next term, so long as i do it really well and try so fucking hard. then it wil be done.

OH SHIT i just forgot about classsics, ey?
its supposed to be like some super freaking awesome essay, cos of course thats what its gonna be.

so, bloggers.
it has come to my attention that every teacher seems to think i am incapable of doing work, or just not able to compete with by boyfriend.
like, he overshadows me.
i got talked to my me english teacher, because my work wasnt in or something
i mean, she thinks im dumb as it is, i mean.. am i gonna tell her that i spelt her name wrong lol. anywho, she was like, 'oh so do you feel like daniel overshadows you, beacuse you never say anything and he always does..'
im like, okay your a bitch, and well, does the amount you talk really show how smart you are? cos, funnily enough, i was told to not talk in class.
and, i made up some bullshit like, oh.. i dont talk heaps in class, cos i duno. lol.. im like 'oh i do drama, and i really excell, beacuse, i duno..' shes like, oh it must be beacuse your not being you!
im like.. yep thats right ;) sure sure. lol. i mean thats true but whatever.
anyyway, to which i got some crack ass lecture about how she is moving our seats or some shit.
so, yep. okay, got me out of some work for a while, LOL.
but, then ..i was like, okay, ill jsut get up and leave , la di dah..
then she FUCKING PATTED ME ON THE BACK.
like a dog, like,... good girl. you agreed with me
which only made me want to rebel against her even more, not a good move in year 12, but you know.
i would, if i could. if i was in year 10 iwould.
oh the days of year 10, wagging.. city, bay, sachas house.. sigh.
lovely days.

anyway.
FUCKING HOLIDAYS will be the best times of my life.
the end/

you know when you do stupid things?

yes well i just did.

i had this super awesome idea for a present for my boyfriend,
and then im like
nah.. no way he would ever wear it

and then
he came over
and im like, haha.. look at this , this is what i was gonna get you
but you wouldnt wear it, no way =P

and i showed it to him
and of course
it turned out he really liked it.









gay.


so now i have to think of something new
and this whole present idea i had been planning, then assumed he wouldnt like just went out the window.

so awsome.


not that i spent like a billion years thinking about it or anything.




thats all
except for , how stupid am i??

its like a drug, isnt it?

so its addictive.



i read it, and the other one reads it.

makes me laugh.

its so.. .. i dunno. doesnt make sense.. its funny how we both just read it.



and know stuff

but like

dont even ... do anything.

i duno.



everything is confusing





anywho, fly away peter is due tomorrow..

i havent done like any of it

so im screwed. i actually think i would prefer to sleep.

i DONT KNOW.



sigh.



anyway.



my msn keeps signing in and out.

its so annoying

and im so bored.. i wish something interesing would happen.





so

im sitting on my laptop.



okay i think its obvious to everyone that i have really nothing to say

except michelle is awesome



and actually, imgoing out with some old friends that i lost contact with for a while this weekend.

so im excited about that



im glad to be friends with them again, i dont want to be like.. on bad terms with people at the end of this year.



so

lets see.

i didnt hand insome thing for classics, and im pretty sure that im screwing my year up.

its killing me

and mr moyle, pretty much told me that because i want to go to tafe, i should quit classics

and